.............................. by Stanley
...........There is a common misconception that stubborn personal problems can be solved by a better understanding of them. And so intelligent people can be attracted to and hooked by doctrines they don’t understand. This is because, they think, the secret must lie in something that’s beyond them, in something they don’t yet understand.
...........Let me explain. Suppose John has a difficult personal problem like recurrent depression or repetitive bad relationships or overeating or drinking too much. He asks himself, ‘why do I do this? There is something wrong and I don’t know what it is.’ Now begins his search to find out what is wrong with him. So he reads books or listens to taped talks by those who claim to know what is wrong with people and who also claim they know the answer.
.......... If you understand what is wrong you should be able to put it right. Right?
...........Right! So it’s obvious that John’s present understanding of himself is faulty otherwise he would be OK. His understanding must be lacking. That’s the key: ‘my present understanding is faulty’. It’s the key to his search which, by this very assumption, is doomed to fail.
...........It is doomed because all one ever has is one’s present understanding.
...........It follows logically that whatever John does understand can’t be the solution because he still gets depressed, eats or drinks too much or whatever. His present understanding is faulty. That’s his conclusion. But one always only ever has one’s present understanding. Deadlock!
..........Now he will have the tendency to read books or listen to tapes that he can’t understand. These hook him because the answer must lie in something he doesn’t yet understand. Thus the allure of the obscure.
..........Mystical or esoteric doctrines play into this unfortunate misconception. For example: ‘I really don’t understand Jung. He’s very profound and confusing. I’m attracted because he promises the answer. But I don’t really understand him. I’ll have to read him more and try harder to find the secret.’
..........But assuming there is a secret to be found, which is doubtful, he would never recognise it because it would be a present understanding – which, by definition, he always thinks is wrong.
..........Remember, when John tries hard to understand it means he overlooks what he does see or grasp because of the assumption that it must be faulty. He overlooks small insights. He misses the small steps because he wants the big step – the total disappearance of the problem.
..........This is a sign of real desperation and of prolonged deprivation. The only hope he sees is the magic of occult enlightenment or mystic understanding, the flash of light – fulfillment at last. It is a humungous longing for something he missed long ago. Something life-supporting that was out of reach.
..........He has only known deprivation; and an attachment to a mystical doctrine will guarantee the deprivation will persist. What he wants is always just beyond, like it always has been. The Search then becomes the leitmotif of his life – the search for the answer, the love, the touch, maybe the smile he missed when he first woke up in the world.
..........Failing the gift of life he longs for, failing that, whatever immediately gives itself to him, the wee present insight, can’t be important – simply because he has it right now, it isn’t what he is reaching for. He is still reaching for what was unreachable. He always never gets what he really wants. That’s the template for all his experience; but maybe secret is in the folds of the guru’s robe or hidden in his profound utterances or in his next book. The lifelong search continues.
...........A similar guarantee of continued deprivation affects many followers of New Age Panaceas. It goes like this:
..........‘I understand THE OCCULT LAW OF ATTRACTION, but I haven’t yet been able to fully put it into practice. When I do I know I’ll feel great.’
.......... A variation of this is:
‘I understand POSITIVE AFFIRMATION and I put it into practice every day. My life is now wonderful. If I could get my husband to understand me things would be perfect. I’m working on it. As it is, he’s just too pig-headed and stubborn! Otherwise, everything is just great!
.............Yet another version:
‘CHANNELLING with my spiritual guide makes me feel so good when he helps me understand my life. I feel confident that I will be able to get off Prozac in the very near future.’
............Yet again:
When my therapist INTERPRETS MY DREAMS I’m amazed how he sees things I would never have thought of. He’s absolutely marvelous – I hope one day he’ll ask me about me.
.
.
.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
THE BODY NEVER FORGETS
by Stanley
...........................and see Lanara's comment
...........................below
.......A few posts ago I wrote a little piece on near-death and out-of-the-body experiences. But did you know it is not uncommon for a person to spend a lifetime not quite in their body? In the trade it’s called ‘dissociation’, a very clinically cold term for a very real – and I won’t say ‘painful’ – lifestyle, because pain is what the condition is designed to avoid.
......When it is full-blown it is supposed to be a BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), when it is less noticeable it is like a partial anesthetization, a condition the person may just accept because that’s always been their relation to their body.
.......A common response to very early physical trauma is to actually leave the body. Babies and very young children are quite capable of doing this. It is one way to escape unbearable pain. In a recovered memory one person described how they literally ‘went up the wall’. Recovered memories of hospital operations often yield vivid experiences of looking down on one’s own body on the operating table and watching what’s going on – but, and here’s the thing, not feeling it.
........Another common reason for abandoning the body is because it carries all one’s unwanted emotions.
........There are people who are so immune to pain that they can have minor operations or have their teeth drilled without anesthetics. Some are just brave and stoic, but there are those who can do it because they are shut off from the body; they just don’t feel physical sensations like other people.
........Along with this can go a very dismissive attitude to the body – often quite punishing. They don’t seem to notice when they are overtired or when they hurt themselves. They prefer grueling exercise or hard work. They almost seem to enjoy treating the body harshly. Outright hatred of the body is not uncommon; some even go so far as to play rugby or deprive it of food. They inadvertently notice a bad bruise, but have no idea how they got it.
........A social milieu like school sports or gung-ho male friends can induce this attitude, but for some people it is a more deeply psychological problem. A shutdown of that order makes the experience of physical pleasure difficult too. Eating is like filling up at the petrol station; and sex is restricted to a momentary genital orgasm – more like a sneeze! Pleasure can be so scarce that it has to be stolen.
........Desperate to escape the deficiency of sensation a person can get to a point where any sensation is better than none. Cutting and self-harm can be a frantic response to physical numbness.
........It goes without saying that there are illnesses which have nothing to do with the body’s memory or the defences we set up against it. But one thing you learn in psychotherapy is that the body never forgets. Pain and tension that is not experienced is pain and tension that is stored. Sooner or later the repressed will return. Aging makes it increasingly difficult to keep the body and physical sensations at bay. But more especially, gradually getting in touch with one’s emotional life will bring the body back to life – and with it the repressed pain and emotion it has carried for years. The body needs something, is trying to complete something, so that life can move forward.
........Sometimes when a person is working at an emotional level there are physical consequences that follow: the body will move through the associated pain hours later. Even a release of happiness can liberate a painful physical upheaval. Sometimes an emotional release is preceded by physical tension holding the emotion in, like a pressure cooker.
........Fighting the body is counterproductive. Best is to use these kinds of pains or tensions to move into the felt-sense of them. This may revive memories, associations or images. The felt-sense of physical pain is different from the actual pain itself – it’s the way the pain makes you feel. I don’t mean feelings as big emotions, but more subtle feelings that are located physically – often around the heart or the centre of the body – but sometimes very diffused, almost a bodily mood that reminds of something in the past, something vaguely familiar.
.........One’s own super-ego that hates the body can intervene, harassing and trying to make nonsense of this procedure. But with kindness and empathy for the body this process can revive your very closest friend, the one that’s been with you all your life; and knows many things about you better than you do.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
FREUD AND JUNG.
by Stanley
........It’s surprising how a men of enormous talent, foundational geniuses, can have a side that seems disappointingly insincere; an almost flamboyant disregard for their own principles; surprising how men such of influence and intelligence can be seduce by their own genius into believing the myth of infallibility that has grown up around them. It’s quite a thing! How easy it must be to get swallowed up by the deification of followers.
.......In some, it becomes a pathological illness as it did with L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of scientology. He turned into a paranoid bully and dictator of the worst kind. Yet, in listening to some of his lectures on how to conduct therapy, what comes across is his profound sense of humanity and kindness. That’s what hooks people in. Part of the scientology code was to never evaluate a client’s data and never invalidate his person. Sounds like Carl Rogers, doesn’t it? Yet anyone who disagreed with scientology was labeled by Hubbard ‘a suppressive person’ and was hammered with a ruthless and deliberate campaign of persecution. The offender would be declared officially ‘fair game’ and subjected to numberless court proceedings – not to win a case, but to harass the offender into silence.
......Hubbard was a small fish (contrary to his own opinion). But Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung are not. They are respected and influential. Yet they both seem to have a streak of insincerity – or to be more generous – let’s say, inconsistency. And it bodes well for us to be aware of it. Freud more than Jung was captive to the myth he himself engendered.
.......One of Freud’s great contributions was the idea of the analyst listening to the patient’s free associations, setting aside all judgment, listening with open attention in what Freud called ‘evenly suspended attention’ carefully listening to hints of what was going inside the patient.
.......Freud’s stated principal was that an analyst should abandon an interpretation when nothing from the patient’s unconscious corroborated it. Yet in one of his famous cases, known simply as The Wolf Man, he tells us that he gave up his interpretation after nine months of analysis. Nine months! Remember that during that time Freud would have been insisting on his own view of what was wrong with the patient and would regard any demurring as ‘resistance’.
......And Jung said, ‘I have no theory about dreams; I do not know how dreams arise. And I am not at all sure that my way of handling dreams even deserves the name of a ‘method’. I share all your prejudices against dream-interpretation as the quintessence of uncertainty and arbitrariness’.
......A wonderfully unpretentious statement that gives an assurance of Jung’s modesty.
.......Yet, again and again, one reads his own account where, with the utmost certainty, he announces to the patient some interpretation based on an ancient myth that bears no connection with what the patient has presented. He announces this fictional diagnosis with a complete sense of certainly, so obviously based on his pet theories; and unbelievably tells us that with this single master stroke he solved the case. Here he seems to me more involved in his own world than with his patient’s.
.......In another place Jung tells us, ‘I may allow myself only one criterion for the result of my labours: does it work?
.......‘Working’ in this case could simply mean that the patient was so impressed by the famous man’s certainty that it acted as a whacking great suggestion, a powerful placebo. No one has an instant conversion like that unless they are bowled over by a massive input.
.......Some of Jung’s more obscure and esoteric writings lend themselves to our New Age Earth Worship and White Occultism. And for some they can inspire an endless search for the secret. Mysticism and mystification can provoke a search powered by a permanent unconscious conviction that ‘what I need is out of reach’.
......The scenario goes something like this:
...... “I am unhappy; therefore there is something I need to learn. What I already know is obviously not ‘it’, because if it were I wouldn’t be unhappy. Therefore I need to understand something I don’t yet understand. There is a lot in Jung’s writing I don’t get – so maybe here is something I don’t know that I need to know.”
.......But these searchers for enlightenment never get out of the trap because whatever they do understand isn’t ‘it’, because what they need to know is something they don’t know.
......The search for the answer simply validates the basic unconscious premise: ‘what I need is out of reach.’
CODA
.......But for all their weaknesses both Freud and Jung have produced intelligently critical offspring. Thinkers like Lacan and Kohut are not fools. Their refinements take off from Freud’s work and think psychoanalysis further. The same must be said for those of the post-Jungian school like Hillman who, however much he differs from the master, still stands in the light of the great man. But lets not forget that the light of great men casts long shadows.
........It’s surprising how a men of enormous talent, foundational geniuses, can have a side that seems disappointingly insincere; an almost flamboyant disregard for their own principles; surprising how men such of influence and intelligence can be seduce by their own genius into believing the myth of infallibility that has grown up around them. It’s quite a thing! How easy it must be to get swallowed up by the deification of followers.
.......In some, it becomes a pathological illness as it did with L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of scientology. He turned into a paranoid bully and dictator of the worst kind. Yet, in listening to some of his lectures on how to conduct therapy, what comes across is his profound sense of humanity and kindness. That’s what hooks people in. Part of the scientology code was to never evaluate a client’s data and never invalidate his person. Sounds like Carl Rogers, doesn’t it? Yet anyone who disagreed with scientology was labeled by Hubbard ‘a suppressive person’ and was hammered with a ruthless and deliberate campaign of persecution. The offender would be declared officially ‘fair game’ and subjected to numberless court proceedings – not to win a case, but to harass the offender into silence.
......Hubbard was a small fish (contrary to his own opinion). But Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung are not. They are respected and influential. Yet they both seem to have a streak of insincerity – or to be more generous – let’s say, inconsistency. And it bodes well for us to be aware of it. Freud more than Jung was captive to the myth he himself engendered.
.......One of Freud’s great contributions was the idea of the analyst listening to the patient’s free associations, setting aside all judgment, listening with open attention in what Freud called ‘evenly suspended attention’ carefully listening to hints of what was going inside the patient.
.......Freud’s stated principal was that an analyst should abandon an interpretation when nothing from the patient’s unconscious corroborated it. Yet in one of his famous cases, known simply as The Wolf Man, he tells us that he gave up his interpretation after nine months of analysis. Nine months! Remember that during that time Freud would have been insisting on his own view of what was wrong with the patient and would regard any demurring as ‘resistance’.
......And Jung said, ‘I have no theory about dreams; I do not know how dreams arise. And I am not at all sure that my way of handling dreams even deserves the name of a ‘method’. I share all your prejudices against dream-interpretation as the quintessence of uncertainty and arbitrariness’.
......A wonderfully unpretentious statement that gives an assurance of Jung’s modesty.
.......Yet, again and again, one reads his own account where, with the utmost certainty, he announces to the patient some interpretation based on an ancient myth that bears no connection with what the patient has presented. He announces this fictional diagnosis with a complete sense of certainly, so obviously based on his pet theories; and unbelievably tells us that with this single master stroke he solved the case. Here he seems to me more involved in his own world than with his patient’s.
.......In another place Jung tells us, ‘I may allow myself only one criterion for the result of my labours: does it work?
.......‘Working’ in this case could simply mean that the patient was so impressed by the famous man’s certainty that it acted as a whacking great suggestion, a powerful placebo. No one has an instant conversion like that unless they are bowled over by a massive input.
.......Some of Jung’s more obscure and esoteric writings lend themselves to our New Age Earth Worship and White Occultism. And for some they can inspire an endless search for the secret. Mysticism and mystification can provoke a search powered by a permanent unconscious conviction that ‘what I need is out of reach’.
......The scenario goes something like this:
...... “I am unhappy; therefore there is something I need to learn. What I already know is obviously not ‘it’, because if it were I wouldn’t be unhappy. Therefore I need to understand something I don’t yet understand. There is a lot in Jung’s writing I don’t get – so maybe here is something I don’t know that I need to know.”
.......But these searchers for enlightenment never get out of the trap because whatever they do understand isn’t ‘it’, because what they need to know is something they don’t know.
......The search for the answer simply validates the basic unconscious premise: ‘what I need is out of reach.’
CODA
.......But for all their weaknesses both Freud and Jung have produced intelligently critical offspring. Thinkers like Lacan and Kohut are not fools. Their refinements take off from Freud’s work and think psychoanalysis further. The same must be said for those of the post-Jungian school like Hillman who, however much he differs from the master, still stands in the light of the great man. But lets not forget that the light of great men casts long shadows.
Friday, October 26, 2007
ONE MORE TIME…. with feeling !
by stanley
.....Have you ever thought how your life consists of repeat performances? If you are lucky you make the same mistake twice in a lifetime, but if you are like me you make the same mistake over and over.
.....I never learn!
......Well, maybe that’s not altogether true. I do learn, but very slowly. Take my relationships for instance. It’s only now, when many people would say it’s too late, something seems to have changed for me. I seem to have advanced from infantile dependency to mature dependency. Really quite good. But for most of my life I have repeated the same cycle, the same excitement of hope followed by the same dénouement of disappointment.
......After making a mistake – I mean an important emotional investment that goes wrong – it would seem you are a more sensible person if you carefully avoid the same mistake again. Unfortunately, if you are sensible enough to do this, your life becomes an avoidance strategy, where very little happens. The alternative seems to be intolerable repeat performances, same drama over and over. The archetypal image of this is the wife whose drunken husband repeatedly beats her up and from whom she retreats to a safe house – only to return to him again for the umpteenth time – with feeling!
......The hope for a better future is part of the deadly cycle of pointless repetition. Hope always comes before the first act of the drama begins. In fact, without hope the cycle would never start up again. At my age, having a limited future is a forced advantage. But for younger people who do have a future the problem is much more difficult. It tends to stimulate the infantile state, where no matter how bad life is, it most definitely won’t go on like that. One day my Prince will come. The future has everything.
......The philosopher Santayana said: ‘He who cannot remember the past is doomed to repeat it.’ Mostly we repeat it without remembering it in the right way. But therapy is more than just remembering. In therapy life’s repetitions are condensed. That’s why in therapy, without prompting, you return to the same problem area over and over, each time slightly differently.
......Freud worried about what he called 'The Repetition Compulsion'. But there has to be repetition because real change is slow.
.....One more time with only slightly different feelings – that’s realistic movement. There has to be repeat performances to gain any depth in life. Real change is not leaping out of your skin into a different lifestyle with the past just a thing of the past. Real change is slow and it carries the past with it; you gradually discover the past enriches you as it accompanies you on your journey, sometimes a very long journey. That’s why you can’t duck in for a few counselling sessions and fix things. The old psychoanalysts knew this. That’s why they thought in terms of years rather than weeks. And this is especially true now that we have a better understanding of the how the process works, the way things move forward in their own way, at their own speed, step by step, each step having its own emotional logic.
.....Have you ever thought how your life consists of repeat performances? If you are lucky you make the same mistake twice in a lifetime, but if you are like me you make the same mistake over and over.
.....I never learn!
......Well, maybe that’s not altogether true. I do learn, but very slowly. Take my relationships for instance. It’s only now, when many people would say it’s too late, something seems to have changed for me. I seem to have advanced from infantile dependency to mature dependency. Really quite good. But for most of my life I have repeated the same cycle, the same excitement of hope followed by the same dénouement of disappointment.
......After making a mistake – I mean an important emotional investment that goes wrong – it would seem you are a more sensible person if you carefully avoid the same mistake again. Unfortunately, if you are sensible enough to do this, your life becomes an avoidance strategy, where very little happens. The alternative seems to be intolerable repeat performances, same drama over and over. The archetypal image of this is the wife whose drunken husband repeatedly beats her up and from whom she retreats to a safe house – only to return to him again for the umpteenth time – with feeling!
......The hope for a better future is part of the deadly cycle of pointless repetition. Hope always comes before the first act of the drama begins. In fact, without hope the cycle would never start up again. At my age, having a limited future is a forced advantage. But for younger people who do have a future the problem is much more difficult. It tends to stimulate the infantile state, where no matter how bad life is, it most definitely won’t go on like that. One day my Prince will come. The future has everything.
......The philosopher Santayana said: ‘He who cannot remember the past is doomed to repeat it.’ Mostly we repeat it without remembering it in the right way. But therapy is more than just remembering. In therapy life’s repetitions are condensed. That’s why in therapy, without prompting, you return to the same problem area over and over, each time slightly differently.
......Freud worried about what he called 'The Repetition Compulsion'. But there has to be repetition because real change is slow.
.....One more time with only slightly different feelings – that’s realistic movement. There has to be repeat performances to gain any depth in life. Real change is not leaping out of your skin into a different lifestyle with the past just a thing of the past. Real change is slow and it carries the past with it; you gradually discover the past enriches you as it accompanies you on your journey, sometimes a very long journey. That’s why you can’t duck in for a few counselling sessions and fix things. The old psychoanalysts knew this. That’s why they thought in terms of years rather than weeks. And this is especially true now that we have a better understanding of the how the process works, the way things move forward in their own way, at their own speed, step by step, each step having its own emotional logic.
Monday, October 22, 2007
THE POWER OF THOUGHT
by Stanley
It is fashionable to blame your thoughts for the way you feel. But not to blame your feelings for the way you think.
Interesting
Why is that ?
Perhaps it’s because when something is wrong people don’t get the feel of it first. Their first warning is the way they are thinking. Even then they may not get the way they are feeling – or perhaps only much later. Quite natural then to assume that what come first causes what comes second. Post hoc ergo propter hoc, (the logical fallacy of ‘after this, therefore because of this’).
It is more useful to think of thoughts, everyday thoughts that carouse through one’s head, as epiphenomena – particles floating on the surface of consciousness that often have only an oblique connection with what is really going on. But this does not explain the illusionary transference of power into one’s thoughts.
In thinking about sympathetic magic, the belief that one’s thoughts and actions can effect both physical and spiritual actions in the world, Freud said that this was due to an archaic belief in what he called the ‘omnipotence of thought’ (die Allmacht des Gedankens).
Children seem naturally to believe in the omnipotence of thought: ‘close your eyes, throw a penny into the fountain, and wish’; and the utter seriousness with which children believe that a wish will convey itself through the air to Father Christmas.
This, Freud said, is a phase of infantile narcissistic development and also seen in adult regression in obsessional neurosis, where the same kind of magical thinking occurs as a very serious symptom.
Freud also pointed out that the feature of magical thinking and the omnipotence of thought in primitive magic was taken over by religion: ‘And God said: Let there be light, and there was light’.
Prayer and positive thinking are the most widespread practises of magic. Whether prayer actually works is a debateable. But there is an amusing story told by Richard Dawkins about an experiment in ‘intercessional prayer in a medical setting’ conducted by a certain Dr. Benson who was inclined to believe it could be beneficial.
‘Dr Benson and his team monitored 1,802 patients at six hospitals, all of whom received coronary bypass surgery. The patients were divided into three groups. Group 1 received prayers and didn't know it. Group 2 (the control group) received no prayers and didn't know it. Group 3 received prayers and did know it... Prayers were delivered by the congregations of three churches, one in Minnesota, one in Massachusetts and one in Missouri, all distant from the three hospitals. The praying individuals were given only the first name and initial letter of the surname of each patient for whom they were to pray. It is good experimental practice to standardize as far as possible, and they were all, accordingly, told to include in their prayers the phrase 'for a successful surgery with a quick, healthy recovery and no complications'.’
The results show no difference in the recovery of groups 1 and 2.
Group 3, those who knew they were being prayed for, ‘suffered significantly more complications than those who did not.’ The experimenters wondered whether they had suffered from ‘performance anxiety’.
Dawkins, Richard. The God Delusion. NY, Houton Mifflin, 2006
It is fashionable to blame your thoughts for the way you feel. But not to blame your feelings for the way you think.
Interesting
Why is that ?
Perhaps it’s because when something is wrong people don’t get the feel of it first. Their first warning is the way they are thinking. Even then they may not get the way they are feeling – or perhaps only much later. Quite natural then to assume that what come first causes what comes second. Post hoc ergo propter hoc, (the logical fallacy of ‘after this, therefore because of this’).
It is more useful to think of thoughts, everyday thoughts that carouse through one’s head, as epiphenomena – particles floating on the surface of consciousness that often have only an oblique connection with what is really going on. But this does not explain the illusionary transference of power into one’s thoughts.
In thinking about sympathetic magic, the belief that one’s thoughts and actions can effect both physical and spiritual actions in the world, Freud said that this was due to an archaic belief in what he called the ‘omnipotence of thought’ (die Allmacht des Gedankens).
Children seem naturally to believe in the omnipotence of thought: ‘close your eyes, throw a penny into the fountain, and wish’; and the utter seriousness with which children believe that a wish will convey itself through the air to Father Christmas.
This, Freud said, is a phase of infantile narcissistic development and also seen in adult regression in obsessional neurosis, where the same kind of magical thinking occurs as a very serious symptom.
Freud also pointed out that the feature of magical thinking and the omnipotence of thought in primitive magic was taken over by religion: ‘And God said: Let there be light, and there was light’.
Prayer and positive thinking are the most widespread practises of magic. Whether prayer actually works is a debateable. But there is an amusing story told by Richard Dawkins about an experiment in ‘intercessional prayer in a medical setting’ conducted by a certain Dr. Benson who was inclined to believe it could be beneficial.
‘Dr Benson and his team monitored 1,802 patients at six hospitals, all of whom received coronary bypass surgery. The patients were divided into three groups. Group 1 received prayers and didn't know it. Group 2 (the control group) received no prayers and didn't know it. Group 3 received prayers and did know it... Prayers were delivered by the congregations of three churches, one in Minnesota, one in Massachusetts and one in Missouri, all distant from the three hospitals. The praying individuals were given only the first name and initial letter of the surname of each patient for whom they were to pray. It is good experimental practice to standardize as far as possible, and they were all, accordingly, told to include in their prayers the phrase 'for a successful surgery with a quick, healthy recovery and no complications'.’
The results show no difference in the recovery of groups 1 and 2.
Group 3, those who knew they were being prayed for, ‘suffered significantly more complications than those who did not.’ The experimenters wondered whether they had suffered from ‘performance anxiety’.
Dawkins, Richard. The God Delusion. NY, Houton Mifflin, 2006
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
KNOTTED
I'm used to living a life where there is always something I have to do and where I look forward to a time where there is nothing I have to do. When that time comes I miss not having something I have to do !
Stanley
Stanley
Thursday, September 20, 2007
INTIMATE STRANGER.
by Stanley
IN THE BEGINNING it is not even like living in an ocean – one is the ocean. There is not even a mother and child; the difference has not even been thought of. There is no inside or outside, no past or future. There is not even a ‘myself ’. Though there is sentience, I am nowhere near human … yet!
This is all before I even know there is anyone else. So that the first meetings with the intimate stranger (not yet even named) comes as quite a shock – exciting and frightening, carrying with it the fist hint that there is a ‘me’ too, the beginning of my psychological birth.
Ever since that time, whenever I meet you, the boundaries between us are always blurry – at best a pleasant nonchalance about who I am. Where I can happily say: I don’t think I am quite myself. Or, paradoxically, I feel more myself than I have ever been.
There is an incredible agitation at finding ‘another’ as I emerge from what Freud called ‘primary narcissism’: the first schism of being. It is the momentous discovery that ‘another’ actually exists – a feeling I revisit over and over in life every time I fall in love, every time I rediscover a wave of affection for whoever, whatever – close to that undivided, unbounded place.
Every renewal in life is a revisiting of that beginning before it all went wrong; before enchantment became disappointment; before finding became losing; affection, resentment. The vicissitudes of relationships are life’s cycles of loving and leaving. Forever repeating all that has gone before, again and again, with only slight variations on the same theme. With help though, I come back to the beginning, perhaps with a little more wisdom – who knows? But always more from chance than good management. The tragedy in many a life is where it has gone so wrong that the door to the beginning is shut. Luck run out. Locked in where ‘I have to do it all for myself’.
What I require to find the beginning all over again, one more time, is what they call, a ‘significant other’, one who can be for me, with me. Alone, it is impossible. There are those who insist that the only person who can provide what I need is myself; no one is going to do it for me, they say. True in a sense. Especially true for those who have given up that there ever can be the intimate stranger who can kick-start what it was like in the beginning.
This is the perennial longing to start over, to move to another place, another country, another life – to be born again, don’t they say? To act out such fantasies misses a vital factor. It isn’t about places, it’s about living and loving connections.
To recover the sense of one’s beginning one has to discern that the intimate stranger has retuned in whatever shape or form, someone with just that certain smell or something: a mate, a dog, a presence of some sort. Then the flow of life can start to move down the track, onwards once again. One more time with feeling! With luck, maybe even a bit more feeling.
Even though I encounter once again where it all went wrong I will…
..........… Drive my dead thoughts over the universe
...............Like wither'd leaves to quicken a new birth!...
The Association for Analytical Psychology Inc.
Box 32121 Christchurch
email: taap@paradise.net.nz
We may not be big – but we’re small
IN THE BEGINNING it is not even like living in an ocean – one is the ocean. There is not even a mother and child; the difference has not even been thought of. There is no inside or outside, no past or future. There is not even a ‘myself ’. Though there is sentience, I am nowhere near human … yet!
This is all before I even know there is anyone else. So that the first meetings with the intimate stranger (not yet even named) comes as quite a shock – exciting and frightening, carrying with it the fist hint that there is a ‘me’ too, the beginning of my psychological birth.
Ever since that time, whenever I meet you, the boundaries between us are always blurry – at best a pleasant nonchalance about who I am. Where I can happily say: I don’t think I am quite myself. Or, paradoxically, I feel more myself than I have ever been.
There is an incredible agitation at finding ‘another’ as I emerge from what Freud called ‘primary narcissism’: the first schism of being. It is the momentous discovery that ‘another’ actually exists – a feeling I revisit over and over in life every time I fall in love, every time I rediscover a wave of affection for whoever, whatever – close to that undivided, unbounded place.
Every renewal in life is a revisiting of that beginning before it all went wrong; before enchantment became disappointment; before finding became losing; affection, resentment. The vicissitudes of relationships are life’s cycles of loving and leaving. Forever repeating all that has gone before, again and again, with only slight variations on the same theme. With help though, I come back to the beginning, perhaps with a little more wisdom – who knows? But always more from chance than good management. The tragedy in many a life is where it has gone so wrong that the door to the beginning is shut. Luck run out. Locked in where ‘I have to do it all for myself’.
What I require to find the beginning all over again, one more time, is what they call, a ‘significant other’, one who can be for me, with me. Alone, it is impossible. There are those who insist that the only person who can provide what I need is myself; no one is going to do it for me, they say. True in a sense. Especially true for those who have given up that there ever can be the intimate stranger who can kick-start what it was like in the beginning.
This is the perennial longing to start over, to move to another place, another country, another life – to be born again, don’t they say? To act out such fantasies misses a vital factor. It isn’t about places, it’s about living and loving connections.
To recover the sense of one’s beginning one has to discern that the intimate stranger has retuned in whatever shape or form, someone with just that certain smell or something: a mate, a dog, a presence of some sort. Then the flow of life can start to move down the track, onwards once again. One more time with feeling! With luck, maybe even a bit more feeling.
Even though I encounter once again where it all went wrong I will…
..........… Drive my dead thoughts over the universe
...............Like wither'd leaves to quicken a new birth!...
The Association for Analytical Psychology Inc.
Box 32121 Christchurch
email: taap@paradise.net.nz
We may not be big – but we’re small
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES (NDE)
........................................................by Stanley
People come to the subject of near death experiences (NDE) with pre-set attitudes: either for or against. The subject excites people who, for obvious emotional reasons, want to believe, opposed by those who try to defend rationality against the rising tide of New Age religiosity – these are the sceptics who would rather dismiss NDE along with alien abduction, tarot cards, creationism and channeling dead Himalayan gurus.
But near death experience is a real phenomenon. It is not confined to those who have religious or spiritual beliefs, or to the mentally disturbed. It isn’t the result of indoctrination. It occurs cross culturally and is often brought on by heart failure when a person is, for a short time, clinically dead.
Time magazine’s recent article on NDE comments: “Of the thousands of NDEs reported, none has done more to convince some researchers that the phenomenon's explanation must lie outside the square than the case of Pam Reynolds, an American who underwent brain surgery for an aneurysm in 199I. Preparation for Reynolds' operation included taping her eyes shut, blocking her ears and monitoring her EEG to ensure her brain was functioning at only the most basic level. Yet, after coming around, Reynolds described not only a full-blown NDE but the bone saw that had been used to cut her skull.”
Then there was the convincing case, reported by Dr. Bruce Greyson, of an elderly woman in intensive care who had a heart attack followed by a NDE in which she saw some red tennis shoes on the roof of the hospital. A maintenance worker and some medical people later went on to the roof where they found the shoes exactly as described.
Dr. Pim van Lommel, a Dutch cardiologist, published an impressive study in the British medical journal Lancet in which 144 Dutch patients were resuscitated from clinical death, of which 12% reported NDEs. The paper is full of medical and scientific details but his conclusion was that we must consider the possibility that, “consciousness can be experienced independently from the normal body-linked waking consciousness.”
Some suggest that NDEs are hallucinations activated by brain activity when the electroencephalogram (EEG) line goes flat. van Lommel likens the brain in this state to a "computer with its power source unplugged and its circuits detached. It couldn't hallucinate. It couldn't do anything at all… A flat electroencephalogram recording doesn’t suggest mere impairment. It points to the brain having shut down.” Yet this is when NDEs are most likely to occur.
At last year's first International Medical Conference on Near-Death Experience, held in Martigues, France, eight participants describing themselves as “a group of dedicated physicians and researchers working in different scientific fields” released a statement. They said that while the NDE is mediated by chemical changes in the brain, “its extremely rich and complex content cannot be reduced to a mere illusion.” It is of the "utmost importance,” they argued, “that scientists wishing to understand the nature of human consciousness conduct research without prejudice.”
van Lommel advances one possibility – the same idea as Rupert Sheldrake’s – that the brain is more like a radio or television receiver. There is a continuous flow of electromagnetic waves around us in the form of radio and television transmissions. We are unaware of this until we switch on our radio, TV, mobile telephone, or laptop computer. “We do not realize”, he says, “ the thousands of telephone calls, the hundreds of radio and TV transmissions, as well as the internet, coded as electromagnetic fields, that exist around us and through us.”
But the TV show is not part of the television set, it does not come from inside the set. What is transmitted is not part of the electronic circuitry of these devises. Could our brain be compared to such receiving sets? It would be the receiver of consciousness, not the originator of it. van Lommel asks us to keep an open mind, entertaining the possibility that: “people can experience their consciousness outside their body, with the possibility of perception out and above their body, with identity, and with heightened awareness, attention, well-structured thought processes, memories and emotions.”
“There are, he says, “still a lot of mysteries to solve, but one has not to talk about paranormal, supernatural or pseudoscience to look for scientific answers on the intriguing relation between consciousness and memories with the brain.
However, my feeling is that we are not simply up against a scientific difficulty. I would say the problem is more profound: it is the philosophical problem of consciousness itself, as we discussed in our last TAAP seminar. The brain-correlates of consciousness can be studied objectively, but consciousness itself, by its very nature, cannot be. Right here we may be up against the absolute limits of empirical science. Your consciousness and experience cannot be experienced by anyone else but you. You can tell people about it, and even elicit similar a experience in them, but there is no third agency that can compare them to say how similar or different they are.
You can study people’s brain activities with objective scientific methodology, but you cannot study consciousness in the same way. Consciousness is, as the philosophers say, sui generis, a unique class of its own in the natural world.
So near death and out of the body experiences must be taken as valid for those who describe them. There are no external criteria by which we are permitted to judge otherwise.
If you wish to glance at a few of the hundreds of accounts of NDEs go to http://www.nderf.org/NDERF_NDEs.htm
The Association for Analytical Psychology Inc.
Box 32121 Christchurch
email: taap@paradise.net.nz
We may not be big – but we’re small
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